THE
RULES OF COURTLY LOVE
Andreas
Capellanus
Love is a certain inborn suffering derived from the sight of and excessive meditation upon the beauty of the opposite sex, which causes each one to wish above all things the embraces of the other and by common desire to carry out all of love’s precepts in the other’s embrace.
1. Marriage is no real excuse for not
loving.
2. He who is not jealous cannot love.
3. No one can be bound by a double love.
4. It is well known that love is always
increasing or decreasing.
5. That which a lover takes against the
will of his beloved has no relish.
6. Boys do not love until they arrive at
the age of maturity.
7. When one lover dies, a widowhood of two
years is required of the survivor.
8. No one should be deprived of love
without the very best of reasons.
9. No one can love unless he is impelled
by the persuasion of love.
10. Love is always a stranger in the home of
avarice.
11. It is not proper to love any woman whom
one would be ashamed to seek to marry.
12. A true lover does not desire to embrace
in love anyone except his beloved.
13.
When made public, love rarely
endures.
14. The easy attainment of love makes it of
little value; difficulty of attainment makes it prized.
15. Every lover regularly turns pale in the
presence of his beloved.
16. When a lover suddenly catches sight of
his beloved his heart palpitates.
17. A new love puts to flight an old one.
18 Good Character alone makes any man
worthy of love.
19. If love diminishes, it quickly fails and
rarely revives.
20. A man in love is always apprehensive.
21. Real jealousy always increases the
feeling of love.
22. Jealousy, and therefore love, are increased
when one suspects his beloved.
23. He whom the thought of love vexes eats
and sleeps very little.
24. Every act of a lover ends in the thought
of his beloved.
25. A true lover considers nothing good
except what he thinks will please his beloved.
26. Love can deny nothing to love.
27. A lover can never have enough of the
solaces of his beloved..
28. A slight presumption causes a lover to
suspect his beloved.
29. A man who is vexed by too much passion
usually does not love.
30. A true lover is constantly and without
intermission possessed by the thought
of his beloved.
31. Nothing forbids one woman being loved by
two men or one man by two women.
From: The Art of Courtly Love. Trans. J. J.
Parry. New York: Columbia UP, 1941.
.
1. The poet sings the joy of his love, which
is an exalted feeling.
2. He praises and extols the woman he loves, who is superior and can be
approached only with veneration and restraint.
3. Love
is a passion that affects the lover’s body and soul and tends to
unbalance him (love-sickness). Points 1-3
are sort of general and
could be made about love poetry in many different cultures. What gives medieval
“courtly love” its peculiar character
is the following:
4. The lover becomes his lady’s servant. Her
love must be difficult to obtain, and he must prove his valor and faithfulness.
The relation between lady and
lover is envisioned, often in the poetic imagery used as well as manuscript illustrations, as a transfer of the feudal relationship
between lord and vassal (homage). NB: In the early nineteenth century, Italians
still cultivated a very similar
relationship in which the male lover became the “cavaliere serviente” of a
lady, usually not his wife.
Notice the medieval wording.
5. The effect of this love is that the male
lover becomes ennobled in his whole being, including his fighting power, social
mores, and moral and religious
attitudes. “Courtly love” thus becomes the force that generates courtliness or
courtesy.
6. In some cases, this ennoblement is caused
by the very thought of the beloved lady.
C.S.
Lewis. The Allegory of Love: A Study in Medieval Tradition. 1936.
London: Oxford UP, 1977.
Characteristics
of Courtly Love:
1. Humility
2. Courtesy
3. Adultery
4. The Religion of Love